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Connect and kut. How Bill Clinton ditched the US super submarine

Mikhail Sheinkman

Rock, sunken ship, anti-submarine “hedgehog”, another submarine. “Wh-o wants to be a millionaire”, the final question – everything fits. Moreover, even if the one who is in the material was on the show, he would prefer to take a smaller amount instead of answering.

No photos, no leaks, not even hints. The feeling is that a specialized publication of the US Naval Ins-titute USNI News published an article on the current state of the Connecti-cut nuclear submarine only because it is necessary to somehow confirm your pr-ofessional suitability and proximity to the most reliable sources. Another thing is that they do not inject. O-nly stingy official statem-ents. “They started to insp-ect”, “assess the damage”, “develop recommendations for repair”, the entire crew is alive and well, including those 11 that got off with “bruises and lacerations.”

And the main thing is still known only that on October 2, the most advanced submarine of the American Navy worth $ 4 billion (they have only three of them) in the depths of the South China Sea bumped into something unidentified by it. Then the same options that arose immediately: a rock, a sunken ship, an anti-submarine “hedgehog”, another submarine. “Who wants to be a millionaire”, the final question – everything fits. Moreover, even if the one who is in the material actually ended up on the show, he would prefer to take a smaller amount instead of answering. Not to tell how a Sea Wolf-class missile carrier could turn into a blind puppy.

Think about it: either the rumors about his superpowers and supersensitivity are too exaggerated, or on the captain’s bridge they were not watching the instruments, but doing something else. But what else can Bill Clinton be doing? The co-mmander is the complete namesake of a famous saxophonist. And, apparently, he is also awaiting an imp-eachment procedure. In any case, the captain of the San Francisco nuclear submarine, which in 2005 almost went to the bottom under similar circumstances, was fired in disgrace. Then, ho-wever, 1 sailor was killed, 98 were injured, and the entire bow, as the media wrote, turned into a “crumpled can of Coca-Cola.” Three and a half years have been patching up.

But even with Connecti-cut, not everything is than-kful to God. Judging by the fact that the underwater world did not float belly up, the atomic power plant really survived. However, they crawled to the base in Guam like an ordinary ship – on the surface. Which means that something more vital than their honor was hurt there. Of course, it co-uld happen to everyone. B-ut not everyone runs around foreign shores to demonstrate their strength. And why would they still hang around in the “sea underbelly of China.” Maybe th-ey ran into that, what they fought with, and are asha-med to admit it. The Pent-agon even calls the scene of the collision in a Holly-wood manner: “somewhere in the Indo-Pacific region.”

And all they needed was that they should be more at-tentive to signs and omens. Let’s say the title. This is a warning. Connect and kut (corner). So they “legitim-ized” with something convex. And this is the same Connecticut that became famous for the infestation of bedbugs in the spring. “They’ve been terrorizing us for a year now. They’ve been eating us alive while we sleep,” the sailors complained to the Navy Times. And they should know then that bedbugs are in big trouble. Although, it seems, how could anything be more unpleasant than themselves. Maybe. When even they suddenly escape from the ship.

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