‘Sometimes we have to treat people unkindly for their own good’

Tooba Jan Afridi

“Mommy! Where are you? I am scared.” I sat there on the couch, my stone cold gaze fixed upon my son as he screamed for my help, tears streamed down his plump cheeks. As his expression was set to one of perturbation and distress. His arms shook as he searched for familiar territory as one does in the dark; however, all his efforts were futile.

The tranquil lounge was filled with his howls for me, his head kept turning left and right as he hopelessly attempted to see. It was this day that I had feared the most, I had been running from reality for too long and the time to finally accept the complete truth had come. I had warned him; I really had; I had told him about how one day he will not be able to see Mommy – he had thought that I was pulling his leg at that time – how I wish that were the case. The doctors had informed me about his condition: how gradually my son would lose the ability to see the world with his own set of eyes; I too had refused to believe them ; however, no matter how far we try to distance ourselves from the truth, one day it will come to haunt us – and today was that day.

I had set up exercises for him to do, for him to grow accustomed to the absence of sight, he had performed each with a face riddled with melancholy and the sight would shatter my heart in two but it had to be done. He had to learn and accept that the rest of his life would never be the same, that a time would come when he would not be able to see Mommy. And when he feels alone, when he is surrounded by darkness; I will not always be there to hold his hand and guide his way towards the light. It broke me to see him in such an extreme trepidation.

Hearing his hoarse voice and seeing his runny nose was not the only sight that placed me in immense agony, but it was also the realization that he knew I was there and intentionally chose to ignore him– that devastated me.

I loved my boy, as every mother did, and seeing him struggle like this tore at my heartstrings, knowing that this is what the rest of his life would be like, I sat idle. I did not move, neither did i make any sound, I let him come to terms with reality, as harsh and cruel it seemed, it had to be done.”  Afterall, the hardest lessons are learnt through the most gruesome tests.’’, I whispered to myself.