KABUL (Pajhwok): Shamsia, 35, one of the victims of forced marriages, is disabled on both legs going through painful life since her miseries started by forced marriage and further aggravated by divorce because she was unable to give birth to a child.
Forced marriages is one of the basic problems that existed for years within Afghan society and often caused families break ups and remained the root cause of multiple other issues.
In each part of the country untold painful stories existed within families which attracted very little attention.
Shamsia, one of the forced marriages victim, go through difficult life in the Koh-i-Chel Dukhtaran locality in capital Kabul.
She was forced to engage on the will of her parents when she was not even 15 and then soon she was married and had to go to her husband’s house.
She live her five year marriage live in her in laws with immense difficulties and performed hard work but due to the health problem she had she could not give birth to a child.
“My in-laws always teased me that what’s wrong with you that you can’t have children, this taunt bothered me inside,” she said.
She worked with her husband in the field despite doing house work and that caused her a spinal cord injury.
Shamsia said: “My husband’s behavior at home was also very bad because there was a lot of housework and I couldn’t do it, he mistreated me a lot, when I couldn’t bring them a child, they called me bad and stupid many times, and he always said that you’re not sick, you’re making excuses, and when I went to the doctor, it was because of my spinal cord injury. The doctor said that hard work and anxiety problems caused your health condition to deteriorate.”
Recalling the bitter memories of her life, Shamsia stopped as her throat was filled with grief and looked at her relatives.
She said: “When my in-laws and my husband realized that I was of no use to them, I could not bring children, nor could I work for them, they decided to divorce me.”
Marriage and divorce are the two decisions in which Shamsia had no say and were against her will.
“The way I was not asked before marriages, similarly they divorced me against my choice and expelled me from their house.”
But the pain and miseries of Shamsiah did not end after coming to her father’s house, she has to undergo a medical operation for her recovery.
Her father sold a piece of land for Shamsia’s operation but despite operation Shamsia did not recover.
She said: “When I had the operation, I felt that I was getting better, I was standing on my feet, but this feeling did not last long, because on one of the days after the operation, I noticed that my legs were senseless and I was losing the ability to walk day by day.”
She is not capable of walking now and stands at her Balcony and look at the people walking in the area which made her really disappointed because of her disability to walk.
“I really want to walk, meet people and go sightseeing, but when I move I disturb few people because I am disabled and could not walk myself,” she deplored.
She looked at her elderly mother and said: “After divorce, I never see my husband, I don’t know where is he, he never call and never inquire after my health, my mother and brothers help supported me from the past few years, my mother is always with me and she take care of me.”
She is disabled over the past several years and need assistance of her family but still she did not lost here hope and pray for her recovery.
She said: “May Allah recover my legs, when I recover I will marry again because I don’t want to be burden on my parents anymore, I am hopeful that I will recover.”
She also does embroidery and said: “I work sometimes, when I have no work I become depressed so I keep myself engaged.”
In her message to other women, Shamsia said: “Woman should not persecute another woman, they should not create problems for one another and refrain from creating hurdles for one another.”
Her eyes welled up and said: “Giving birth to child is not our mistake it is the will of God to give or not to give child, do not destroy the life of an individual for this cause.”
Shamsia’s mother, 65, complained against pain in her legs and said: “My life is opposite of others, normally children look after their parents at old age but I have to look after my daughter and help her in going and coming.”
She was worried about the future of her daughter and said: “I will help my daughter until I am alive and will help here in her activities, but I am worried that if I died than what would happen to my daughter.”
Forced marriage, divorce make Shamsia’s life miserable
