LOS ANGELES: American singer-actor, Selena Gomez revealed her struggle with depression and suicidal ideation for years in a recent tell-all.
In her recent tell-all for a cover issue of a foreign magazine, Gomez reflected upon her struggles with mental health and bipolar disorder which led her to suicidal thoughts at more than one point in the past few years.
Speaking about her psychosis, Gomez told the publication, “I thought the world would be better if I wasn’t there,” but, clarified that she never ‘attempted suicide’.
“I think when I started hitting my early twenties is when it started to get really dark, when I started to feel like I was not in control of what I was feeling, whether that was really great or really bad,” Gomez detailed.
“It would start with depression, then it would go into isolation,” she added. “It just was me not being able to move from my bed. I didn’t want anyone to talk to me.”
“Sometimes it was weeks I’d be in bed… to where even walking downstairs would get me out of breath.”
The celebrity also revealed that she sought help at ‘four treatment centres’ for multiple mental illnesses including depression, anxiety, and psychosis, and was put on a list of medications. However, she was eventually able to find herself a psychiatrist who put her off all the medications except for two. Gomez dubbed it as ‘a gruelling process’.
“I had to detox, essentially, from the medications I was on. I had to learn how to remember certain words. I would forget where I was when we were talking,” she said. “It took a lot of hard work for me to (a) accept that I was bipolar, but (b) learn how to deal with it because it wasn’t going to go away,” she noted.
During her span on those two medications for her bipolar disorder, the ‘Rare Beauty’ owner said to have met a friend who was trying to get pregnant. After her meeting, Gomez was stressed that she would not be able to carry her baby due to these drugs, but said that she was convinced that “however I’m meant to have them, I will.”
It is pertinent to mention that the songstress has also spoken at length about her mental ailments struggles and journey in her recently-released documentary ‘Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me’.
The documentary film premiered on November 4 and is available to stream on the OTT platform, Apple TV+.